Trash cans are the new steroids

Trash cans are the new steroids

The Astros held their long-awaited press conference last week, and if anyone was paying attention (and they were) the fact is that the Astros didn’t actually apologize for anything.

What are the hallmarks of a proper apology?  It must be unconditional; no fair saying you’re sorry “if you were offended.”  You have to describe what you are apologizing for accurately and in detail.  You have to acknowledge the fairness of people being upset over what you did.  And you have to allow the injured party to decide how to proceed on their terms.

The Astros, for the most part, did none of these.  Some of the “apologies” I heard came close, but none were truly unconditional.  They limited the apology to “their fans,” and did not apologize to the LA Dodgers, the NY Yankees, or any of the players they victimized by their sign stealing.  They did not apologize to baseball fans in general.  They did not apologize to the Commissioner, or the ghosts of Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, and Mickey Mantle. 

None went into any detail about what they did.  What I mostly heard were players apologizing not for cheating, but for “the choices I made.”  It wasn’t wrong for you to make a choice; it was wrong that you choose to cheat.  I didn’t hear anyone say what they did was “cheating.”  The closest was possibly owner Jim Crane who said they apologized because they “broke the rules.”  Of course, this immediately followed his assertion that what they did in no way impacted the games that were played, causing someone to ask, “then why are you apologizing?” eliciting Crane’s answer.  He seemed to be saying what they did wasn’t wrong, it was just against some silly rule.  He might as well have said, “We’re apologizing because the Commissioner told us to.”

His assertion that the game wasn’t impacted by their cheating (excuse me, “rule breaking”) is in line with Mark McGuire’s long-time stance that he didn’t gain any advantage by taking steroids. The only time he ever conceded that steroids helped him hit home runs was when Bob Costas pointed out that if steroids helped him heal from injury, then that means he played in games he wouldn’t have been able to but for steroids.  But McGuire always maintained he didn’t hit home run because of steroids, he hit home runs because he worked out like crazy (what he overlooks is that he was bale to work out like crazy because steroids allowed him to recover faster). 

Crane was obviously trying to staunch the cries (mostly from Dodger and Yankee fans) that the Astros should forfeit their 2017 World Series title and 2019 American League pennant.  I’m against revisionist history; everyone will associate the 2017 Astros with cheating and adjust their opinions accordingly but taking away titles doesn’t erase the memories of fans.  Now if the Commissioner were to take away their rings and bonuses, that might be something.  Frankly, after hearing the arrogance of Crane saying the game wasn’t impacted (and then one minute later asserting he had never said that) makes me rethink my position; maybe the only way to get through to people like this is to strip away what they worked (and cheated) for so hard to get.

If the sign stealing didn’t give them a competitive edge, then why did they do it?  Practice?

What struck me listening to various players was that they were clearly all coached by the same PR person, because they all said they “wanted to move forward.”  This reminded me of Mark McGuire testifying at a Congressional hearing on steroids and saying he “wasn’t there to talk about the past.”  Yes, that was why you were there.  Naturally the Astros want to “move forward,” but as someone at ESPN said, that’s not their decision.  The people that you cheated will let you know when it is time to move on.  I’m guessing that will only be after many, many high and tight pitches under your chins and in your ribs.

This is all keeping in the public persona of the Astros since they stopped tanking and started winning.  There have been other rumors about cheating, like Gerrit Cole’s spin rate on his pitches going up significantly, possibly due to a sticky substance.  There was the ugly incident when an assistant GM berated a female reporter about a reliever who had been suspended for domestic abuse, and then the Astros attacked the reporter and denied hat it happened (they eventually fired the assistant GM but not the people who denied her allegations). 

The Astros have not apologized to many of those injured by their cheating.  They have not described how the plan came about and how it was implemented; many still haven’t said, “I’m a cheater.”  They have not acknowledged that the result of their sign stealing was their players had better stats and other teams lost games, maybe in the playoffs.  They have not offered to do any penance at all, which is important given that the Commissioner decided to give blanket immunity to all of those who cheated (seriously, how stupid was that?).  All they want to do is move forward past this, because of course they do.

Given how poorly baseball has handled the worst (non-steroid) cheating scandal since the 1919 Black Sox, and how poorly the NFL handled scandals like the Ray Rice incident (first he is not punished, then was suspended two games, then he is banned for life) and Deflategate (Brady says he is completely innocent after destroying his cell phone, but still gets a 6 game suspension), clearly sports leagues need to hire some criminal prosecutors and defenders to contrive better processes BEFORE they happen.