Saturday, July 21, 2018

Oh no, they're rebooting Buffy


In this blog, I usually try and find a position that is new, and not just a drumbeat with others in the blogosphere.  Sometimes I try and take the exact opposite opinion than the “conventional wisdom” if for no other reason than to challenge the accepted operating paradigm.  But sometimes the accepted operating paradigm is so right that I can only add my assent.

Reboots suck.

Reboots are lazy, unimaginative ways that “creators” who are bereft of inspiration continue to cash a paycheck in Hollywood.  If the original was good, why make it again?  If the original sucked, why make it again?  With the lone exception of Battlestar Gallactica no reboot has ever even moderately improved upon the original (remember the reboot of The Prisoner?), and only a washed-up has-been would stoop to creating a reboot of their own creation.

Okay, maybe a creative genius like Whedon has a few tricks up his sleeve that he never got to try out on the original Buffy.  Maybe he wants to do an episode with no dialogue for 30 minutes, or kill off the main character’s beloved mother for no reason.  No, wait, been there, killed that.   But still, he could have some good ideas.

But count me skeptical.  The main reason is this; for ANY show or movie too succeed, there have to be about 5,000 decisions that ALL have t be made correctly.  Plot structures, tone, casting, should this character be gay, should that character have blonde hair or dark hair, should the comic relief come from a single-parent family, and so on and so on and scooby dooby do on (as Sly and the Family Stone once said).  The odds of doing it once are astronomical.  Twice?  That’s like winning the lottery five times in a row.

Here are two specific things about the original Buffy that will be hard to replicate (I am going to assume that Joss will be too busy with his other projects  to have the writing input he had on the original Buffy (in one DVD extra writer Jane Espenson said the most frustrating thing about working for Joss Whedon is that fans come up to you and say, “I loved that episode you wrote!  My favorite line was . . . .” and they invariably name a line Whedon added).  One is the writing room, which Uproxx included as one of the 10 most influential writers; rooms in modern TV drama.

First, there was Joss Whedon, who was Emmy-nominated for the show’s episode Hush, which famously did without any of his trademark pithy dialogue for half its run time (he also got an Oscar nomination for Toy Story).  The show’s writers include Drew Goddard (Oscar winner for The Martian), David Fury (Emmy nominee for the Lost episode that revealed Locke had been a paraplegic), Jane Espenson (Warehouse 13, Gilmore Girls), and Marti Noxon (Dietland, UnREAL) to name just a few.  To think you can replicate an amalgamation of writing talent like that a second time is an act of unmitigated hubris.

Second, there was the cast.  Casting is a notoriously unscientific process; you have to find good actors, good actors who are right for their roles, and good actors who are right for their roles who have chemistry with the other actors.  That’s a tall order.  Buffy lucked out in spades (of course it wasn’t all luck, as luck is the residue of design).  Sarah Michelle Geller brought a gravitas to Buffy that few photogenic actresses her age could match.  After Cruel Intentions came out during her stint on Buffy, there was anticipation about her film career once she was off the show, but after marrying Freddie Prinze Jr. she seemed content to make bad Scooby-Doo movies and mediocre remakes of Japanese horror films.

The supporting cast included Allyson Hannigan, who went on to a successful post-Buffy career on How I Met Your Mother, and David Boreanaz who went from being a professional dog-walker pre-Buffy to now being a TV mainstay for the last 20 years thanks to Angel and Bones.  Even the cast who didn’t go on to major success were excellent, evidence to the proposition that it isn’t enough to succeed in Hollywood if you have looks, talent and luck.  Charisma Carpenter did the cliché move of posing for Playboy post-Angel, not that it helped her career (it never does); Emma Caufield was gorgeous and great at comedy, but that is such a rare combination there are no roles for actresses like that; and Nicholas Brendon had some personal problems and no other roles showcasing his great comedic timing (the episode he starred in, The Zeppo, is one of my favorites).

The idea that a writing team can be assembled that is as talented as the original one, and that the casting process hits as many home runs as the last one did, is not impossible but is inconceivable.  I wrote a post a while back about Whedon’s career blues since he got some unfortunate publicity, and I had thought to suggest he go back to TV where he had success but then I realized something: he never had that much TV success.  Buffy had abysmal ratings and only survived for 7 seasons because it was on weblets; Angel had unspectacular ratings and was killed off because The WB got mad at Whedon for taking Buffy to UPN; Firefly, despite the legendary post-run success, was cancelled after a few episodes, and Dollhouse’s best episode was the season one finale that was never broadcast. 

The word is that Whedon will have input on the writing of the new Buffy but the voice of the show will be that of showrunner Monica Owusu-Breen, who wrote for Alias, Lost and Agents of SHIELD.  Buffy was so much Joss Whedon’s baby that I can’t imagine anyone capturing what he gave to Buffy.  Heck, they had some incredible writers and producers working on Buffy after Whedon turned over showrunning duties in seasons 6 and 7 and the show was a disaster (compared to seasons 1-5). 

Rebooting Buffy the Vampire Slayer is yet another attempt of someone trying to improve perfection.  If Joss Whedon wasn’t on-board, I’d write it off, but then lots of critics wrote a show with a stupid title like Buffy the Vampire Slayer off 22 years ago and yet it survives.

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