Okay, boys and girls, it is September and that can mean only one
thing to anyone over 35—it’s almost time for the new TV season! Of
course, millennials will have no idea what I am talking about, as they only
know a universe where TV shows come out on Netflix whenever the hell they get
released. But there used to be a glorious tradition of new shows starting
in September, right after summer vacation, and then running straight through to
the following May, without hardly any interruptions! That’s right, they
used to produce almost 40 episodes per season, then take 12 weeks off while
people spent the summers outside, playing and having barbeques.
Kids had summers off because schools let them out to work on their
parent’s farms, so the whole idea of summer vacation is a tad anachronistic
(unless you live in a Jeffersonian reality where the majority of America’s
population works on a family farm).
Over time the networks went down to producing 28 episodes a
season, then 22, until now when 8 episodes is considered a year’s work for some
shows. Slackers.
So what is out there worth watching? I’m not as tapped in as
I was when I would get the TV Guide edition with the FALL TV SEASON PREVIEW,
but I’ve heard some things. Of course, some of the new shows I’ve heard
about are on the Audience Channel, and what the heck is that?
Probably the most prestigious new show is the re-launch of the
Star Trek Franchise with Discovery. Early trailers seem to indicate the
show has a decent budget, and I am a huge fan of star Michelle Yeoh. The
problem? CBS doesn’t want to clutter its dominant schedule with this
science fiction stuff, so in order to watch Discovery you will have to
subscribe to a streaming platform for $9.99 a month. Memo to CBS: I am
Star Trek fan going back to my first convention in 1975, but if you want me to
watch a TV show either broadcast it on your network or sell it to Netflix or
Hulu. I am not going to subscribe to a brand-new platform that has
nothing to recommend it other than the first Star Trek TV series in 12
years. Oh yeah, the last two series (Voyager and Enterprise) weren’t that
good, and neither was the last movie, Beyond. Given this track record,
I’d be leery about watching a new Star Trek series if it was on free TV.
Incredibly, the new show I am the most optimistic about is a Star
Trek parody called The Orville, starring Family Guy creator Seth McFarland in a
live-action role. McFarland’s non-animated track record is spotty (A
Million Ways to Die in the West, anyone?), but he is a talented performer
(okay, I’m talking about his vocal work; as a voice actor, he really is
astonishingly good) and heaven knows the Star Trek franchise is ripe for
satire. This was attempted before with a short-lived sitcom called Quark
(not to be confused with the Ferrengi on Deep Space Nine), but that was before
special effects became cheap enough for a sitcom to use. The show
co-stars Adrienne Palicki as McFarland’s second in command and ex-wife; her
departure from Agents of Shield was one reason for my dropping that show, so I
am happy to see her again.
A lot of what is coming can
euphemistically be called “recycled.” CBS is trotting out Young Sheldon,
because the character of Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory would be MUCH
funnier as a ten-year-old (note—that was sarcasm). The Good Doctor
features a brilliant doctor who is autistic, meaning he’s basically House with
even bigger socialization problems (lest you think I am being unfair, this show
is created by the creator of House). There are a bevy of series vying to
pick up the mantle of most patriotic supporter of our men and women in uniform
(The Brave, Seal Team, Valor). And, duplicating the success of last
year’s APB (more sarcasm) there is Wisdom of the Crowd, where yet another white
billionaire uses technology to fight crime.
Speaking of recycled, there are also a bunch of fantasy series
vying to cash in on the strength of the Marvel franchise, but none look that
compelling (possibly because I am not as versed in the graphic novel genre as
the target audience for these shows). Inhuman is taking the unusual
strategy of being released to IMAX theaters before going to the small screen,
which I can’t help but think will make the small screen seem even
smaller. The Gifted boasts Bryan Singer as a producer so it should be
true to its origins; it also features Amy Acker, late of Angel, Alias, and
Person of Interest, so I’ll tune in. There is another show called
Marvel’s Runaways, but since it is on Hulu and I don’t subscribe, I’m not going
to get invested.
My nominee for new show with the most interesting premise that
can’t possibly last more than a season is Me, Myself, & I, a show about a
central character at three points in his life—early teens, mid-life, and senior
years. The fact that the elder version is played by John Larroquette
provides at least the promise of inspired acting for one of the segments.
High concept shows like this really have a difficult time surviving once the
novelty wears off, but I’ll check it out just in case.
This is not an exhaustive rundown of new shows—given the fluid
nature of TV that is almost impossible (does Stranger Things 2 count as a new
series, or an old one?). I’m ignoring shows on platforms I can’t access
like HBO or Hulu, I’m ignoring things that just sound too dull to describe, and
as I said there are channels I don’t even know about out there.
I’ll end on a final note—CBS’ Seal Team stars David Boreanaz,
coming off of 12 years on Bones, five years on Angel, and three seasons on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So this makes his 21st year in
a row starring in a network TV series. Not bad for a guy who was a
professional dog walker when he got his big break (and someone whose career I
said would be over 5 minutes after Angel was cancelled).
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