My childhood theater was torn down not long ago. No, this is
not one of those, “How dare they destroy the past to put up a grocery store?”
stories. The theater was not an architectural marvel, with rococo
moldings and art deco furnishing; it was one of those Syufy domed monstrosities
that probably no one thought was terribly innovative. I suppose the domes
were supposed to provide better acoustics, but I really don’t know.
But
these were the theaters, first a four-plex but then remodeled into a 14-plex,
that I remember going to the most when I was growing up and then in
adulthood. This was the theater I saw the original Star Wars in on its
opening weekend, with no fanfare and no lines. It is also where I stood
in line for an hour a few weeks later to see it again. I always get to
movies about 15 minutes early, which means I probably spent nearly five days of
my life in those theaters just waiting for films to begin.
They
were torn down and replaced, not by a strip mall but by new, state-of-the-art
theaters. No expense was spared! Digital projection! Wide
seats that are recliners! Wide aisles so no one steps on your toes
getting in or out! Reserved seating so you can pick you seat in advance
and get there a minute before the show starts!
I hate
it.
OK, I
don’t hate it, but my movie going experience is not as enhanced as I suspect
they think it is. For one thing, the popcorn is still ridiculously
expensive, but I haven’t bought popcorn at a movie in over 20 years so that’s
not really a factor.
Let’s
start with the reserved seating. As I said, I usually get to movies 15
minutes before the start of the previews in order to get a good seat. I
once had a movie buddy who would factor in the length of the trailers in estimating
when we should arrive; I think she once picked me up after the trailer’s start
time. But when I am on my own I get there early to avoid having to sit in
the seats down front or off to the side.
But that
doesn’t work anymore. No matter how early I get there before the start
time, other people have already reserved the best seats by buying
on-line. Combine this with the fact that wider seats + wider aisles =
fewer seats, then finding a good seat is impossible unless you are going to a
weekday matinee of Jupiter Rising. I went to see La La Land on Dec. 24 only to
find the only seats available were, you guessed it, down front.
There
are a number of factors that go into selecting a seat; how far away from the
screen, how centered it is, are there old ladies nearby who may talk during the
film, are there small children who will insist on going to the bathroom every
30 minutes? With reserved seating, if a couple near you starts chatting,
you can’t move discretely away. Now you have to choose a seat not knowing
who you’ll be sitting with.
And
there is the fact that fewer seats = earlier sellouts. The theater I saw
La La Land in only has 31 seats, not counting the first two rows and
handicapped seating. They could probably fit at least 60 seats in of the
old variety. So that means if you want to go to a particular show the
odds are doubled that you won’t get a seat outside the front two rows.
And what
is the reason for the smaller number of seats? They want you to sit in a
nice recliner, just like you might have at home. They are trying to compete
with the home viewing experience by
making the theater more like home! If
I wanted to curl up and watch La La Land in a recliner, I’d wait for the
Blu-Ray to come out. You can try to make the theater experience more like
home, but the $12 popcorn will be a definite tip off.
Movie
theaters are facing their greatest threat since the development of television.
Home theaters can now replicate the theater-going experience at home with big
screens, high-def pictures, sound that would make George Lucas weep, and no
crowds or expensive popcorn. DVDs are being released sooner and sooner,
and the urge to wait for something to come out on disc is greater and
greater. Maybe having reserved seats is a good idea; on a date night, you
don’t want to show up late and get stuck with bad seats. But the changes
I’ve seen just make me want to wait two or three months for the red envelope
from Netflix in my mailbox.
Someone -- I’m
not sure who, it might have been George Will -- once said that the conservative
credo is that all change is for the worse. I hate to think that I am
getting more conservative as I get older, but all I know is that standing in
line to see Star Wars is a childhood memory that millennials won’t have because
they bought their tickets in advance on-line. Not that there’s been a really
good Star Wars film since Return of the Jedi; but don’t get me started on THAT.
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