I don't understand the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

I don’t understand the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

I wanted to do a thorough lambasting of the institution, but frankly I am so flummoxed by the seemingly random approach of who gets in and who doesn't that I can’t form a cogent argument.  Surprisingly, research on the Internet brought me no clarity.

Where to begin?  Let’s start with the idea that, to some extent, there seems to be a bias against commercial success.  It’s like if you actually made decent money as a musician, you sold out and aren’t “cool” enough to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Of course acts in the Hall like Bruce Springsteen and James Brown sold a lot of records; presumably if you never got a recording contract you won’t be getting a call from the Hall.

But commercially successful rock acts like The Doobie Brothers and Chicago have never even been nominated, despite being eligible for decades. The Doobies aren't in the Rock Hall of Fame?  With that name?  Long Train Runnin’?  China Grove?  Black Water?  Not even a nomination?

I had to laugh at one list of Hall snubs I came across that discussed the injustice of a certain singer not being in, despite the fact that he had released three albums that had been met with low sales upon release. Wow, three whole albums!  That is a lifetime production worthy of enshrinement, especially since no one heard the albums when they were released.  And no one bought them! What better evidence could you have that he was an artist before his time?

Then there is the genre issue.  I know you can’t define “rock and roll” with any precision, and people will disagree on whether ABBA can be classified as a rock band.  But I think I can safely say that I own every rock and roll album produced by Run DMC, which is zero.  In checking several lists of snubbed non-entrants, I find an odd assortment of country artists (Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton), disco artists (Chic, nominated and rebuffed 9 times) and rap artists (LL Cool J).  While I acknowledge that a handful of artists deserve enshrinement in multiple Halls (Johnny Cash definitely belongs in both the Rock and the Country Halls of Fame) why don’t they focus on getting all the deserving rock acts in and then look around for artists from other genres?

Then there is the “Really?  Him? Or Her?” argument.  For example, Cat Stevens was inducted in 2014.  I've got nothing against Cat Stevens, I like his work, but seriously is he really Hall of Fame material?  He’s the musical equivalent of a middle infielder who hit .270 lifetime going to Cooperstown.  I love, love, love Randy Newman (his Faust concept album is amazing), but he had a couple of minor pop hits in the 80’s and wrote a few hits for others, most notably Mama Told Me Not to Come.  He should be in the songwriter’s Hall of Fame, but he’s in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a performer, not a songwriter.

I want to complain about Green Day going in, but that’s just me feeling old.

Unlike the Baseball Hall of Fame, I have no idea what the standards are for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  You have to be popular, but not too popular.  It helps to be a rock act, but that’s not a deal breaker (James Taylor isn't exactly in the same rock and roll league as Little Richard).  Some well-known rock acts get right in, others aren't nominated after decades.

I guess rock and roll immortality is like pornography; you know it when you see it.  Except I don’t.