Guess Who's Not Coming to the NBA Game?

So, NBA commissioner Adam Silver dropped the hammer on owner Donald Sterling, banning the LA Clippers owner for life and asking the other owners to kick Donald out of their very exclusive club.  As Groucho Marx said in A Night at the Opera, “Let joy be unconfined. Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons and necking in the parlor.”

Because I’m that kind of guy, let me offer a defense for Donald Sterling.  He is a reprehensible human being, if indeed he is one, and the comments that were recorded by his mistress (who is about one-fourth his age) were beneath contempt.  Yes, this is my defense.  I’m just warming up.

A couple of points.  Everyone knew Donald Sterling was a racist before these comments came to light.  They knew he was a racist 41 years ago when they approved him buying the Clippers.  They knew he was a racist as he managed the Clippers so badly they were a laughingstock since before his mistress was born.  They knew he was a racist when the US Department of Justice brought charges against him of racial discrimination, charges that he agreed to in a settlement.  They knew he was a racist thanks to innumerable stories from dozens of individuals, including former Clippers GM Elgin Baylor.  So, what’s changed?  If it was okay for him to own the Clippers for 41 years despite being a racist, why is it not okay now?

Secondly, the “crime” he committed was making comments in what he thought was a private phone conversation that was taped by his mistress (who, apparently, has no first name).  The legality of the taping is dubious as in California it is illegal to tape a phone conversation without the knowledge of all participants.  He committed no act with the intension of bringing shame or disrepute to the NBA.  He is probably more upset than anyone that the tape was made public.

Compare that to the actions of Toronto Raptors’ GM Masai Ujiri, who addressed a fan rally in Toronto and purposefully, and with malice aforethought, dropped an F-bomb on the crowd when referring to the Brooklyn Nets.  This is a highly placed employee of an NBA team, dressed in a suit and representing his organization, deliberately and without provocation cursing like a stevedore in front of a crowd that presumably included a few young people not old enough to appreciate his delightful bon mot.  To me, that is far worse than an owner’s secret beliefs being made public against his wishes.  Ujiri was fined a paltry $25,000.

But what is Sterling’s punishment?  A $2.5 million fine? Help me out here, is the fine for having racist beliefs, for having impure thoughts, or is it for allowing his much younger mistress to tape him expressing those thoughts?  Generally people should be held accountable for actions they had control over, and I don’t think releasing the tape was his idea.

Besides, UCLA announced they are returning a $3 million gift Sterling had made to the school.  So, UCLA agreed to pay his fine for him, with change.

His other penalty?  He has to sell the LA Clippers.  The lowly Milwaukee Bucks recently sold for just over half a billion dollars; speculation is that the Clippers, an up-and-coming franchise, might fetch as much as $1 billion.  That’s right—his punishment will be to cash a check for one BEEEELION dollars (as Dr. Evil would say).  That’ll teach him not to believe that all men are brothers.

You want to punish Donald Sterling?  Strap him in a boat on the It’s a Small World ride at Disneyland and make him go through it until his ears bleed.  Instead of making him sell the team, confiscate it and refund his initial purchase price, plus nominal interest.  But to think you are striking a blow for equality that is equivalent to the Emancipation Proclamation by making a known racist pocket $1 billion is ridiculous.

Reports are that Sterling will fight the sale.  He’s done stupid things before, so this would be another.  How did such an idiot acquire so much money in the first place?  Mark Cuban I understand, he’s smart; but Donald Sterling obviously is, um, not.

But at least some good will come out of Sterling’s team of high priced lawyers being able to stimulate the economy by buying yachts and fur coats with all the money he’ll pay them.  Come to think of it, A-Rod’s legal team is available; maybe he should hire them.